WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE ?
WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE
Good afternoon and welcome to a brand new edition of ‘ASYLUM’.
Today’s program features another chance to take part in our exciting
competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house! We’ve already
given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don’t forget, we’re now the fastest growing game on the planet..
Anyone can play, provided they don’t already hold a valid British passport, and you only need one word of English: ‘ASYLUM’!..
Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefit s starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.
No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: ‘ASYLUM’.
Few years ago 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel. They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain .
Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic Bedfordshire.
If you still don’t understand the rules, don’t forget there’s no need to
phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid. Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help. It won’t cost you a penny, so play today; it could change your life forever.
Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas…COME ON DOWN!
Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to the
ferry terminal. Don’t stop in Germany or France . Go straight to Britain and you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth.
Everyone’s a winner, when they play ‘ASYLUM’.
It’s alarming that there is Truth to this statement.
It’s true.
Tags: Airliner, British Passport, Cash Benefit, Council House, Counsellors, Dissidents, Dream Homes, Drug Smugglers, Ferry Companies, Good Afternoon, Hilton Hotel, International Gateway, Lucky Winners, Magic Password, Mass Murderers, Partner Airlines, Play Today, Tamil Tigers, Toddington Services, White Cliffs Of Dover
What have you been smoking?
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Looks like there has been another breakout from the mental hospital
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I tried entering it, as i am a resident of a tyrannical state which steals money off its people and who live in fear of violence and poverty. Unfortunately that country is britain, so i dont qualify!
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PMSL!
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sorry, is this a rant or a question.
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It almost makes me wish I wasnt British so I can apply! I could come and get a free house or stay in expensive hotels, it would be great but I cant qualify, damn it! I best keep on working stupid hours on low pay and grind away for the rest of my life just to get what they’re getting in my own country. Great, aint it?
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It’s alarming that there is Truth to this statement.
It’s true.
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absolutely correct,you have hit the nail on the head,all the uneducated shite from anywhere can come here recieve a hand out then go on the streets,as the press says the asylyum seekers ars revolting,correct totally revolting,do we expect thanks,forget it,bad mannered crap never give thanks they say it is their right
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